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Chinese Lunar New Year coming up this Sunday. Year of the pig, or "DingHai." Chinatown is not how it. In the old, pre-Giuliani days -- we're talking 1988 -- we stupidly wandered down Mott Street during the absolute climax of the celebration (the climax, compared with our one-second toaster pops, lasted a mind-blowing 48 hours), bottle rockets, cherry bombs, M-80s missing our eyes by nano-meters-total lawlessness. More perilous than aged July 4ths (again, pre-Giuliani). These days, we're lucky to catch a dragon dance team from the neighborhood senior citizens center. Still, Chinatown meals are better -- and cheaper -- prior to. We took the following walk, never spending over a buck on any addition. Bring a friend and mountainous.

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